


Science & Faith

by stressedasalways



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, But with a happy ending, F/M, I wanted to play with some possibilities that could have happened but didn't, Post Framwork AU, major character death but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-15 07:43:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12316776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stressedasalways/pseuds/stressedasalways
Summary: (*on indefinite hiatus*)A post Framework 'What if"What really makes someone themselves?  Is it their heart? Their mind? Their soul?  After the events of the Framework the whole team must try to come to terms with their own answers.





	1. No Good In Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Short chapter to get it started (I've actually written about half of the story) Cause I need push myself to keep writing and figured starting to post is the way to go.

Jemma had never been one to believe in fate or destiny or magic. Magic was simply science that hadn’t yet been explored. Destiny was just a word people used when something they really wanted to happen actually happened. ‘Oh it’s fate’. No. No it’s not. Things take work and effort and a million daily choices lead you to the next turn in the road.

Daisy always joked that her and Fitz were connected, like they were sharing a brain. But they weren’t. It was the accumulation of years of being friends, seeing each other through highs and lows, working together, having deep conversations about hopes and fears, watching silly tv shows and inside jokes. It was effort. They had put in the time and that had allowed them to really understand each other. To know where one of their minds would go, what a small twitch of a lip could mean. The tap of a finger, a deep sigh. They were all tells and signs that they just both knew how to read.

When she had been on Maveth, Jemma had never once doubted that Fitz was looking for her. Just like she knew he would know she would never stop either. There was no way they could stop, not until they had their answers. It wasn’t some magical rock that dissolves people. No, it was a portal to another planet. It wasn’t opening and closing to some unknowable schedule. It was following the lunar schedule of it’s home planet.

In the framework it hadn’t been Fitz that did all those things. No. It was the result of the darkhold. It was the result of Radcliffe’s design. It was the result of Aida manipulating his mind so she could mold him into The Doctor she needed.

But then Jemma found herself feeling like her and Fitz were being tested. ‘The Cosmos’ she internally joked. When they arrived at the abandoned oil rig the team was all accounted for. Except Mace and Fitz. She almost laughed at the absurdity. 

“What do you mean she grabbed him and vanished?” Daisy asked.

“She just grabbed him and ‘poof’ they were gone.” Coulson answered for the third time.

“Like...Gordon?” Daisy wondered.

“Exactly like Gordon.” May answered.

Of course. Of course she wouldn’t just want to be a human. She made sure she was an inhuman. She could hear May, Daisy and Coulson talking about the experiments. Who Daisy and May had brought in to Hydra, How clearly The Doctor’s experiments had led to him copying certain powers.

“Can we not catch a break here!” Coulson exclaimed to no one in particular.

Before the group even had a chance to figure out what the hell their next move was going to be, Robbie Reyes appeared from literally thin air. Fate? No. He was the protector of the darkhold. A part of Jemma was surprised it had taken this long for the rider to come and get it back.

A plan was formed pretty quickly, he could sense where she was and the team was ready to back him up.

“We should be there in 20mins.” Piper’s voice came over the comms on the Zephyr.

Daisy looked to Jemma. “You okay?”

She had been worried for Jemma. Her leg was still not looking all that good, also their last moments in the Framework hadn’t exactly been easy. Jemma just gave her a knowing smile. No one was going to keep her from being on this op. She was ready to see ghost rider burn Aida from the inside out. She was ready to see Fitz again.

Jemma got up and quickly went to the back to splash some water on her face. It had been a long...day?...week?....month?....everything? As she stared at her pale reflection in the mirror it hit her. A feeling she could not describe. But it ripped through her body, cell by cell. She couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. It was everywhere and nowhere. It was the worst pain of her entire life, yet nothing all at the same time. It tingled and pulsed, it throbbed yet was constant. She wanted to scream, to cry, to sleep. It felt like her mind and body were malfunctioning and wanting everything at once.

“Prepare for landing in 5.” Davis’s voice echoed.

“Keep it together Jemma.” she whispered to herself as she tried her best to shake it off as she headed back to the main bay to strap down for landing.

The abandoned factory Aida was holed up in was a maze. It had taken hours for the team to get through, and by time Robbie and the rider had found Aida, Jemma was on the other side of the compound searching.

“Aida is down.” Daisy screamed through the comms.

Jemma felt a small smile and wave of relief. Davis and Piper looked back at her with similar faces as they continued to search. They had been careful as more than a few Igornov LMD’s had been lurking.

Her relief was short lived.

“Agent Fitz is down.” Coulson’s whisper barely broke through her earpiece.

“What’s your location.” Mack’s booming voice responded.

“Medical get to Coulson NOW.” Daisy yelled.

The coms exploded with people trying to get info, where to go, who was closest. But it was May’s voice that ended it all.

“He’s gone.”

The voices stopped. The world stopped. 

Davis and Piper looked back at her, their faces just shells.

Suddenly Jemma knew what this odd feeling she had been fighting was. It was the feeling of her soul dying. The feeling of the connection to Fitz dying. She had felt it. The moment he was gone, she just didn’t know what it was.

But now she knew and suddenly the pain of being shot, the pain of being stabbed, of being iced, of almost experiencing dehydration and starvation, of being terrified for her life while being undercover at Hydra. They all suddenly meant nothing. They were a mere papercut compared to the feeling now.

No sound could escape her lips. Her lungs were empty yet her body made no effort to breathe in. Every nerve ending was on fire. Was this spontaneous combustion? Is this what it felt like to have your entire world end? This was now a world without Leo Fitz and no scientific theory could explain how this was possible.


	2. Exit Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma begins to deal with a world where Fitz is no longer apart of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to get a more real chapter out since the first one was kind of small. This one is a lot of emotions. Sorry!

A few weeks later….

 

They still hadn't had a service for Fitz. Jemma wasn’t sure why. Well, that was a lie.

They were concerned about her. She had shut down. She worked, slept, ate and repeated. She didn’t talk unless directly asked or explicitly needed. Even then it was short and to the point. Emotionless. Methodical.

They all thought she just needed to grieve. This was her way. But it wasn’t. She hadn’t yet cried or screamed, she hadn’t attempted to see what had survived of their bunk. The apartment key was left forgotten in some drawer.

She slept in the medical bay. Corner bed. But if it was needed she would just as easily sleep on a chair, her head resting uncomfortably on the desk. What was the point of leaving medical? The more hours she worked the easier they passed.

She heard some of the lower agents whispering. Is Dr Simmons catatonic? She rolled her eyes. Did they not understand this was not a way to get through this? This was not a rough patch of time? This was it. This was her life A.F. After Fitz. There was Jemma Simmons before and there was Jemma Simmons after.

What was the point in watching tv? Eating sweet foods or listening to the mindless gossip that seemed to brew in the small quarters of the Shield compound. There was none. The only thing worth anything was the work itself. Maybe she could help people, any people, do something to make the empty feeling deep within her not swallow her whole.

The team was trying their best to reach out. She couldn’t fault them for it. But it just felt so futile.

“Jemma please you need to talk to me.” Daisy had cried. “It feels like you both died.”

“Because we did.”

Daisy stared at Jemma shocked at her reply.

“He wouldn’t want this for you.” she tried to reason.

“I know he wouldn’t. But this is how it is Daisy. He always told me he couldn’t live in a world without me. I always thought he was being dramatic. Sure it was romantic, but it seemed so over the top. But I get it now. I get it. The world doesn’t feel the same.” Jemma whispered.

“It’s not the same, but you can’t keep going like this.”

“Why not? When Lincoln died you left! When Andrew died, May left! Fitz hated that. He would want me to do good. So I will. I will stay and I will fight the good fight. I will spend my life in the lab and try my damnedest to make a difference.”

She saw Daisy flinch and a part of her felt a little bad for being so blunt, but her new life A.F. included her not wasting time.

“I love you Daisy, I always will. But I died that day too. Not in some soapy romantic the love of my life died way. Even though it's true. He was my best friend, he knew me as well as I knew myself. My greatest inventions and accomplishments were all done with his support and ideas. There is not a single part of my young adult and adult life that Fitz was not by my side. I always expected that was how the rest of our lives would be. But now it’s not. I guess that was how our story ends.” she sighed deeply. “I need to get some sleep, I have a lot of tests to run in the morning.”

And with that Jemma walked over to the bed in the corner, faced the wall and went to sleep, leaving Daisy to stare, her mouth agape, wishing she knew how to help her friend.

 

Daisy hunted for Coulson as soon as she had feeling in her legs again.

“Coulson.” she barged into his office. He was back to being the interim director and like most the of team sleep seemed to elude him. He looked up not even startled by her entrance.

“We have to do something to help Jemma.” Daisy’s face didn’t even mask the sadness and desperation.

Phil wanted to do nothing more than to somehow help his family. He had been at a loss. He had many talks with May and others in the team, but they all agreed that they needed to let Jemma work through this.

“Daisy, I know how much all of this hurts. Losing Fitz…” he paused rubbing his eyes. His face had aged years in these last few weeks. “Was a deep blow to us. Not only was he an integral part of our team, he was our family. He was Jemma’s family. I’ve spent countless nights reading your guys briefings from the LMD’s and the framework. With that alone I’m surprised either of you can even get out of bed. Hell, I still don’t know how Jemma is doing it. I know she’s using her work to cope, but the strides she’s made with our vaccine program have been tremendous. She’s down there saving lives. And as much as I would probably feel a bit better if I saw her cry or have a moment we don’t get to choose how people grieve. I’m not about to try and tell the smartest person in this compound that she’s grieving wrong. All we can do is keep an eye, keep letting her know we are here for her, and be ready for the day she takes us up on it. It’s going to hurt like hell.”

Daisy huffed knowing he was right as she plopped down in the chair in front of his desk. She stared at him, her thoughts dancing behind her eyes.

“I want to tell her.” she finally said matter of factly.

“You know you can’t Daisy. Never mind the whole thing is still the highest level of classified, we are still working through all the red tape. We have no idea what will and will not work. And honestly no matter what happens I don’t think she is going to agree with what we and Shield are trying to do.”

“But Phase 1 is almost ready and with that….” Coulson put his hand up.

“Daisy. Stop. We are not talking about this. This is not an option.”

Daisy sighed. She knew he was right. She was still questioning everything with project Oz. 

“I guess I’m being selfish in that I just want to see some emotions from her. I’d take anything at this point. Just so I know she’s alive in there. Did you talk to her about a service for him?” 

“I did. She really didn’t seem to be for or against one. She mentioned how we waited 6 months before we discussed it for her and Maveth. I tried to reason that was more a MIA situation and not confirmed like this. But she told me to give his mom some more time. I believe her exact words were ‘let her live in ignorant bliss for a little bit longer. We’d want the same for ourselves at this moment’. And damn if I didn’t agree. She only asked one thing. That we tell his mom well before Christmas. She doesn't want it to be associated with the holiday time. So Jemma is trying Daisy, she is still in there.”

 

*********************************

Jemma knew something was happening at the compound. She could see the shuffle of people all with determined looks on their faces. She’d seen it many times before. 

It was clearly something big. There were a lot of new faces around. Military, suits, people who clearly didn’t belong. Even though they stayed out of medical she could see them all outside the windows. A constant stream of people and faces, moving past, blurring past. It made her eyes and head hurt. 

The need to get out became too great. There were too many people, too much noise. She soon found herself sitting under a tree a few hundred yards from one of the secret entrances. She barely remembered walking here, but now she took in a deep breath. The fresh air clearing all her senses. She heard someone approaching but didn't bother to react.

“I didn’t know you came out here?” Mack’s voice boomed through the quiet of the woods. He sat down beside her, trying his best to make it seem natural.

She hummed in response before turning to look into his eyes. She had to give him some credit, his face and eyes were kind and not filled with the sadness she had been accustomed to getting from everyone else she dared to make direct contact with.

“Mack you don’t need to pretend you didn’t follow me out here. I understand.” A small chuckle escaped him and he smiled a smile that ghosted one she remembered from happier times. In a hotel room halfway across the world, discussing ‘new’ things. She was quick to push the memory back.

“Ah Simmons, I know. You are the only Dr Dr I know. You took off pretty quickly there. With all the action going on in there just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

She turned back to the face the emptiness of the woods. “It was just a bit too…loud in there for me.”

“I get that. This new project seems to have a lot of new faces on the base. Makes me miss the days when were weren’t so connected with all the government bureaucrats.”

Mack waited for Jemma to respond or react but it seemed she wasn’t going to. So he just stayed contently in the silence with her. After what felt to be twenty minutes Jemma was a bit shocked Mack was not only still beside her, but that he hadn’t tried to push her any further.

“You don’t have to wait-” she began to say as she turned to face him. He gave her a knowing look and she knew at once. “-but you aren’t allowed to leave me here by myself so you will stay as long as I do.”

“It is the first time you’ve willingly left medical. And you then left the compound entirely.”

She nodded as she sighed. Of course. She was sure there were many protocols in place for her. She would have done the same thing if someone under her had gone through what she had. It brought her back to all the Shield manuals and meetings she had been a part of back when Mace was in charge. A part of her then wondered what she even was at this point. Then she was practically the number two. She didn’t want that power then, but she especially didn’t want it now. But a change of clearance and rank would be something that would need her acknowledgement. Did she still outrank Mack? Could she order him to go back to the base? It’s not as if they weren’t watching her on the numerous cameras. She wouldn’t even be shocked if some agents were hidden just out of sight - In full camouflage hidden behind the trees. In fact, thinking to her team, she knew she was correct. Besides Mack was quiet, he wasn’t pressing her. Why push buttons that didn’t need to be pressed.

“I’m quite enjoying the fresh air and the sun.” She closed her eyes and tilted her head up. The vitamin D was so needed she could almost feel her body soaking it all in. “You don’t mind if we stay out here longer?”

“I’ve got all the time in world.” he replied. And with that he scooted closer to the tree, now leaning his back against its trunk so he was fully to the side of her. He stretched out his legs and closed his eyes. His hand raised for a moment, hesitating as he debated placing it on Jemma’s leg. But he thought better of it and just as quickly put it on his own.

 

****************************************

It became the new normal. Sometime in the afternoon Jemma would make her way outside to the tree. Usually within a few minutes Mack would appear and sit close by. Sometimes he stayed close, other times he went to a tree a few feet away. Usually he did that when he brought out some work as not to disturb her quiet time. 

Lately his new thing was to place a small snack or whatever he could grab from the kitchen beside her. It started small, a granola bar, an apple, some gummy type snacks taken from some poor agents hidden stash. Then they started to grow. Salads, sandwiches, full hot meals. He would give her a big hearty smile as the offerings grew in size and she couldn’t help but smile back. The fresh air was doing her good, and eating at least one good meal a day was helping her concentration in the lab. 

She got so used the routine she was startled when instead of Mack, Daisy appeared above her.

“Can I?” she asked gesturing beside Jemma.

“Of course. “Jemma answered quickly.

Daisy was quick to sit right beside her, their hips touching. She grabbed Jemma’s arm and hugged it, her head falling on to her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” she heard Daisy whisper.

“What ever could you be apologizing for?”

“For... well... for everything. I just want to make everything better. And I know I can’t. And you dove into your work and I dove into mine. And it just sucks. It hurts and I can’t even imagine what it feels like for you. You guys are my family. You were the first people my age to accept me. And you did it so wholeheartedly. Sure I am clearly the dumber sibling here, but you two treated me like an equal… And the last thing I want to do is cause you more pain. But I miss him so much.” Daisy sniffled, “and you're the only person I feel I can talk to who gets it. Even though I know it should be the other way around. You're my sister and I’ve tried so hard to be strong for you, but I can’t anymore. I miss him so much.”

Jemma looked to the sky, her eyes filling with tears she was trying to not let drop, for she was sure once she started she would never stop. They would drown her like the ocean, a feeling she was far too familiar with.

“Oh Daisy.” She sniffled as she leaned her head to hers, using her free arm to squeeze them closer together. 

They sat in silence except for the sounds of sniffles. Neither one ready to break the moment.

“I can’t remember our last kiss.” Jemma said suddenly. Daisy sat up so she could look at her fully. “It seems like a silly thing to focus on, but it’s all I can think about.”

“How could that be a silly thing to think about?”

“Just with everything that happened you’d think I would try to focus on something else. But I just keep trying to go back. I know the last thing we said to each other. Its fuzzy and not word for word, but the feeling is there. He was concerned I was going to explore the area myself. But we were on mission so we never kissed goodbye.” Jemma’s voice became quieter as it seemed she was trying to work it out as she spoke. “I know we would have kissed at some point that morning. Possibly good morning, or maybe once one of us was leaving the bunk. It was probably a peck, something quick and to the point. Which is fine, we had plenty of times when it was more. And I remember those quite clearly.” A small ghost of a smile quickly flashed which Daisy was quick to mirror on her own face. “But I just wish I could remember it.”

“It’s okay Jemma. Like you said, it was probably something quick and sweet. You have so many other amazing memories to focus on.” Daisy tried to reassure her.

“But that’s just it.” Jemma’s voice hitched up an octave, emotions starting to get the better of her. “I’ve lost so much, the future we were supposed to have, the promise of so many more kisses. And the LAST one feels important. It should be something I know, even partially. But instead I have nothing. I can’t remember. It's gone forever! What happens when I start to forget other things? I don’t want to forget him!” Jemma broke completely then, the tears becoming ugly sobs that suffocated her. She fell into Daisy hanging on to her with all the strength she could muster.

“You’ll never forget him Jemma. He is a part of you completely. And not just in that ‘cheesy romantic way’. You guys were so intertwined, he will always be with you. And if you ever feel like his memory is slipping you just let me know. And I will talk for days about everything I remember about him. And you...you can do the same for me. So if you ever start to forget I can remind you.” Jemma nodded in Daisy’s chest as she awkwardly tried to rub Jemma’s hair. Complicated by the fact Daisy’s own body was wracked with sobs just as intense as Jemma’s.

‘I thought I could do it.” Jemma whispered so quietly Daisy wasn’t sure she was meant to hear.

“Do what Jem?”

“Survive.”

“I don’t think you're supposed to feel like you can. I would never try to compare losses, but I mean, I didn't think I would.”

Jemma sat up and tried her best to rub her face dry. She gave Daisy a knowing look, remembering what she had said to her before.

“I’m sorry I brought him up before, and how you reacted.”

“Don’t apologise. You don’t have to say sorry for anything. I mean... it was true, I did run. And well. I know Fitz was pissed. But that was one of his biggest faults. He wanted so hard to fix everything.”

“It’s the engineer in him.” Jemma nodded.

“Oh my god, you are right! How did I never put that together.” Daisy laughed before stopping abruptly. “Should I laugh, is it okay? Everything feels wrong.”

“Of course it’s okay. I think we have to smile when we can.” Jemma reassured her.

****************************

After her breakthrough with Daisy, Jemma began to try and put her life back to some semblance of order. She knew she couldn't keep trying to push everything down. It was no way to live, and she knew it was the last thing Fitz would want her to do.

She had to give the team credit. It felt like somehow everyone on base knew she was trying now, and instead of avoiding her glance they would all give small knowing smiles. It felt like they were welcoming her back to the living. Even if the living part was only sometimes.

May had been kind enough to let her know her bunk had survived the base explosion. Minus some things knocked down and some dust. But Jemma wasn’t ready yet. Daisy's room was down another hall, less memories there. She had been quick to offer that Jemma should bunk with her.

It helped to have Daisy. She was the only one who truly knew what had happened with the LMD’s and the Framework. They both were dealing with so much more than the visceral hole Fitz had left them with. 

They tried their best to become each other's support. When one broke the other was there to be strong. When one of them needed time alone they took no offence and understood there was no malice in the need. Then there were the times when they both broke. When the wave of grief hit them both hard. It was ugly and wet and angry. They would scream and break, crumble down until they didn’t look human. And just when it felt they would never resurface, it would start to subside, and they would hold onto each other until the waves settled and they could breath.

They shared their deepest pain and hurt. Showed each other the ugliest parts of themselves. Which is why Jemma’s stomach tumbled when after weeks of feeling there was nothing they couldn't share Daisy came into the bunk, face pale.

“I’ve been lying to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses? I haven't been trying too hard to hide it.


	3. The Energy Never Dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma finds out what Daisy has been hiding from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we get to the real story. Enjoy!

Daisy’s words were rushed and hectic. Jemma could barely keep up, but before she could fully rationalize it, she was pushing Daisy out of the way and heading to the new sector. Had she been able to see clearly she would see the looks of the other agents jumping out of her warpath. Davis had to push himself and Piper against the wall to not be knocked down.

She quickly scanned her badge and entered her code. The door beeped and flickered green before opening. So she did still hold high rank.

The machinery was massive. Along one wall were six log in ports. They more closely resembled Fitz’s original design than the slabs that had held her friends captive in the framework. It was a chair that almost resembled a more padded dentist chair. Screens were above each one showing what the person inside was in, both from an outside perspective as well as from their viewpoint with stats like heart rate imposed on top.

The rest of the room had a few computer stations where she could see agents were also watching those plugged in. Another area had people coding and working on virtual maps.

It was the framework. Back. In full use. But not to the same degree. Daisy had been sure to say that multiple times. Firstly without the darkhold it couldn’t hold the mass amount of info and detail it had. They had reverted and expanded on the original design. Smaller areas made for training. Tons of failsafes had been put in place. There was no way for someone to be in and not know they were in the sim, or “OZ” as it had been codenamed. Not only was every single person inside monitored closely by teams of people that can pull them out immediately, Daisy had also created switches. Or ways to get out without having to communicate to the team outside. You could tap your heels three times or say ‘there is no place like home’ for OZ to automatically disengage you from the system.

In another life Jemma could have appreciated the humour. But not today. Not this one.

As Daisy had explained this all Jemma had been first relieved. She had assumed the absolute worst when she had come in, face upset saying she was lying to her. 

Jemma was a scientist. A part of her always knew what was originally the framework could be used for good. Real time training while taking out the risk of real injury? It could change the way Shield ops work forever. Fitz had always planned on adding more, getting possibly quicker with the coding to help agents have run throughs of possible dangerous missions. See the possibilities before being in the field. 

And the work he had done on mapping the mind was endless. The medical breakthroughs that could come from expanded mapping were immense. Really the good of it all was endless.

But then Daisy had told her the rest. She only heard the first few sentences before charging over.

“Out. Now.” Jemma said sternly to all the agents in the Oz room.

Clearly they must have been aware her barging in here was a possibility, or she was terrifying as she imposed her higher rank. Quickly the ones not watching training immediately left, while the others began exit protocols to get the agents currently plugged in out.

She stood motionless as one by one they fled the room. Not even the agents being suddenly pulled from the system seemed surprised as they woke up, they saw her and knew to leave.

As the last one left, Jemma went to the largest computer setup. She logged in and quickly searched. Only a few clicks later and the feed popped up full screen.

Fitz.

In the lab.

With a bright red LIVE marker on the top right of the screen.

Jemma had to stop the bile that seemed to burn at the base of her neck. Just as her life had changed in an instant when Fitz was gone, suddenly it was changed all over again.

She heard the door open and close and now saw Daisy and Coulson standing near the entrance.

“I don’t understand.” Jemma finally managed to whisper. Her eyes never leaving the screen. He was working happily on something, checking blueprints and making small changes while doing calculations on his tablet.

“The framework Fitz and Radcliffe were working on was always a Shield project. Unfortunately what happened to us and Fitz didn’t change that fact.” Coulson tried to begin to explain.

“I understand THAT. What I don’t understand is….him.” her voice broke.

“It’s my fault Jemma.” Daisy pleaded as she came closer. “Talbot had me head the team, said I was the most likely to understand what Fitz had begun. And before everything happened me and Fitz had a few conversations about it. I knew what he was working on and what he was trying to accomplish. So I dove in. Most of what happened in Aida’s framework was just an expansion of what Fitz and Radcliffe had created here. The darkhold had just taken the entry system and gone from there. But what Fitz had here on the Shield servers, it was exactly the program he intended. The same one me and Coulson tried a training fight in, the same one he had you go in. But then I found something I wasn’t expecting. A full brain scan file. It was Fitz’s. It’s older, from before all the drama obviously. It must have been him trying to see if it was possible. To do a full scan when him and Radcliffe were first talking about the AI’s possibly being used for missions. Radcliffe had destroyed most of that work here before he left and went totally crazy. But I guess he didn’t know about this one.”

Daisy came behind Jemma, watching as her finger grazed the slightly grainy image

“I turned it on. I mean I couldn’t help it. And then suddenly he was there. He wasn’t dead or broken or someone else. He was Fitz. But then I couldn’t…. I didn’t….I wasn’t sure…” Daisy stuttered unable to find her words.

“You couldn’t turn him off.” Jemma whispered.

“It felt like I would be killing him. I didn’t know what to do. I placed him in the simulated lab and gave him access to all files prior to Radcliffe’s betrayal. He’s actually been helping with the new framework, he just doesn’t realise...he’s in it.” Daisy sighed.

“But how?”

“It’s...it’s like back in the evil framework. How those plugged in didn’t know and accepted the new realities given to them. He doesn’t find it odd that in this lab he’s the only one there. He finds it normal to get reports and follow ups on his tablet.”

“But what about me? You made him forget me?”, the hurt seeped from Jemma through jagged breaths.

“No, no! I would never! He’s just been made to believe everyone is on a mission or just busy working on something. To him it feels like he only saw everyone a day or two ago. He doesn’t have grasp of time in that sense. I’ve blocked that. So he doesn't realise he’s missing you because everything is how it’s supposed to be. If anyone went in to talk to him he wouldn’t react like he hasn’t seen us in months.” she paused, her voice beginning to show some excitement. “I’ve….I’ve gone in and talked to him. It’s him Jemma. It’s Fitz.”

“Oh my god.” Jemma whispered, her eyes never leaving the screen.

“I wanted to tell you about all of this. Even before I discovered his file. But then it just became so...murky. I thought you’d be upset we were restarting the framework program. I should have known you would understand the goodness behind it. But then I found the scan and since then I feel like every step we made is somehow simultaneously the worst thing yet best thing we could do. It's been about a week since I activated his scan, and he's begun working with us and you needed to know. I had to tell you.”

Tears were silently falling down Jemma’s face, the emotion and the will to not blink incase his face disappeared were overcoming her.

“Jemma.” Coulson’s voice was reassuring as he came to her side and placed his hand on her shoulder, looking at Fitz on the screen with her.

“Now the issue is, and god I hate even saying this. But he’s become a Shield asset. He’s helping to continue the Oz project as well as working on other Shield properties. As far as they are concerned he’s a tool they can use. They don’t seem to grasp the morality of it all.”

Jemma’s heart sank. Her mind racing through all the scenarios. Pro and cons list passing her thoughts at a speed she couldn't fully absorb.

Fitz was dead. But in Oz he was alive. That was his brain scan. That was 100% him. Just as when Jemma was in the framework, she was still herself. She still thought and reacted like herself. That was how Fitz now was. He was billions and trillions of code, but somehow he was Fitz. Somehow ‘The Cosmos’ had brought him back to her. Science. Fitz’s great mind, had somehow done the impossible.

“Tell me everything.” Jemma asked.

And they did. Daisy and Coulson broke down everything. What projects he was working. Who had access to him, which at this point was only them. But he was known to Talbot and others above them. 

They talked about how they were conflicted. Technically Fitz was dead. But this was his mind, which in the end wasn’t that what made him? Wasn’t that what made them all? They debated how they didn’t know what to do. Was it wrong to use his scan to their advantage? Was it wrong not to? Should they keep him locked in his current restrictions and use him as a tool? A program? Or do they accept that this is a person, a mind with thoughts and feelings that was being altered. It was wrong! But do they then tell him? Could they even?

Was he a prisoner? It felt like he was. But Fitz is dead. He can’t be anything but. But he is. He is there. He is in OZ. He still takes breaks by watching his favorite tv shows. He still makes notes for Jemma to look at something to get her opinion on his blueprints.

They talked and debated for hours. Each one of them feeling more and more conflicted. It felt like there was no answer. No right road, no wrong road. 

“I need to go in there.” Jemma finally told them. They both nodded as they got up and begin getting a log in portal ready for her.

They placed her in an empty room created just outside of the lab. As soon as she opened her eyes in the simulation she heard her own voice in her her head, ‘This isn’t real. You are in Oz.’ Another one of Daisy’s safeguards, making sure even if someone was put it unaware, they would be told as soon as they entered.

The room was blank. It felt an unnatural shade of white. Clearly Daisy had only created it as a connecting room between them and Fitz. No extra effort had been given to it. At this point Jemma was only the third person to even see it. Daisy had only quickly created it so she had a room to collect herself in before seeing Fitz, and Coulson had used it soon after.

But the door. The door was the door to the lab. Every difference in colour, every smudge, every dent, it was exact. 

She paced for what felt like forever, but was probably only close to ten minutes. She took a deep breath and placed her hand on the handle. It felt familiar, the exact shape and temperature of the entryway in the real world. She took in one more deep breath and exhaled slowly as she turned the handle.

The lab was an exact replica. Probably because it was one of the rooms Fitz himself had coded. She remembered the awe she felt when he first plugged her in. Minus floating a few feet in the air it had been perfect. It even smelled right.

She could feel the chill in the air, clearly Fitz’s silent protest about the air con was still in place. She wondered if Daisy saw it and kept it in, or if she forgot about his little jab at Coulson.

He was still working at his desk. Going back between the computer screen and tablet, he seemed unfazed by the opening and closing of the door. His hair was how she remembered it, not the horrid shave she had seen him with in the evil framework. Nor the slightly overgrown length she briefly saw as his body was carried away. She took in a deep breath and could just make out the faint trace of his cologne in the air. 

She felt the panic hit her, she wanted nothing more than for him to turn around. She wanted...no she needed to see his face. But at the same time she could feel her brain going into flight mode. She needed to run, she needed to get out of here.

But the choice was made for her when he turned. His blue eyes lighting up as he caught sight of her.

“Jem.” he said with a smile as he quickly typed up a few last strokes on the tablet before placing it on his lab table and making his way to her.

It felt like a dream. She had seen him come to her this way a hundred times before. There was a contentment in his face and body language. He had done this more times then either of them could count, and he moved with the comfort in knowing they would do it hundreds of times more.

But she didn’t have that comfort. She woke up this morning knowing for a fact she would never see Leopold James Fitz again. Yet here she was. Seconds away from in his embrace.

He gave her a quick peck on the check before wrapping his arms around her. He had meant for it to be quick welcome back, but as his arms wrapped around her body Jemma couldn't help but squeeze him to her.

“Hey…” he sighed into her ear. “Are you okay?”

She took a deep breath and it assaulted her senses. His smell, his touch, the sound of his concern moist against her ear. She was too scared to speak so all she could do was nod ‘yes’ while tightening her hold.

But this was Fitz. Her Fitz. So he immediately knew something wasn’t right. He squeezed her back with the same force allowing her to have her moment. When she still didn’t loosen her hold he pulled his face back trying to get a look at her. She kept her face buried in his shoulder so he had no choice but to try to get her to release him another way.

He removed one arm from her body and stroked her hair and placed his chin on top of her head.

“Jem, what happened? Did something go wrong on the mission? It wasn’t supposed to be anything intense.”

She nodded her head ‘no’ wanting to take away the concern from his voice but scared if she looked into his eyes she would collapse.

“Is it something sadist related? Something you can’t talk to me about?” his voice mocking over what her old title spelled out. 

She couldn’t help but chuckle. She finally removed her face from the safety of his shoulder and looked right into his eyes.

They were light and full of encouragement. Longing to see her smile. 

She couldn’t deny them.

“As much as you love to make fun of me you know it’s for the best.” She was shocked at how easily the lie spilled from her lips. 

Before she had come in Daisy had told her the same thing happened to her. She easily found herself playing the part of herself a few months ago. It was almost as if her brain was going off muscle memory but she couldn't even fault it.

“Well you're the one slumming it with a level green.” he winked at her.

And she rolled her eyes like she had done a million times to him. The unspoken ‘oh Fitz’ tingled on her smirked lips.

He smiled, happy he had cheered up his girlfriend before taking a quick look around. She wondered briefly what he was looking for but understood completely as his lips met hers.

They were at work, they tried their best to keep their work relationship, well, work related. Although everyone on base was clearly aware they were a couple, they both prided themselves on not making it an issue.

She smiled wide against his lips, he even tasted the same.

She couldn’t believe how easy it all felt. Coulson, Daisy and herself had spent hours trying to figure out the morality, the science, the everything about this situation. But as she stood here in the Oz lab, with a brain scan copy of Fitz it all felt so natural. 

“Do you have a few minutes? I’d love to run some things I’ve been working on by you” he asked with his usual excitement.

“Ummm...yeah. Mace shouldn’t need me for debrief for a little bit.”

He updated her on the work he was doing was OZ. It seemed natural to him that this was a project with Daisy and not Radcliffe. Daisy had explained they had just inserted that Radcliffe decided the government sector wasn’t for him. Too much red tape, too many hoops to jump through. Which given his past was a pretty believable story. Even more true given the actual story.

Jemma couldn't help but feed off his enthusiasm. She told him about the work she was doing with vaccines and progress she had made as of late. She even got so involved she made the mistake of trying to pull up some of her files on his system. 

They were immediately denied with NO CLEARANCE flashing on the screen.

“Ahh level green strikes again.” he sighed but more in disappointment than surprise.

Jemma ruffled her nose. 

“I'll see what I can do, it may be my project but it doesn't need to be classified only for me and above. Sorry Fitz.” and she really was sorry. She wanted nothing more than to show him the work she had done. The work she had literally thrown herself into without him. It felt cathartic to tell him about her project. What the cost of her pain and his death had produced. The good she had tried to fill the ying with the yang of his loss.

It was then her pocket began to beep. She felt inside and pulled out the cell she didn’t even realize she had. A message flashed on the screen from Daisy That’s enough for now Jemma. Time to come out

“Duty calls?” he asked knowingly.

“Unfortunately so.” she said sadly. She looked round the lab even though she knew there would only ever be her and Fitz in the room before stealing a kiss.

“What was that for?”

“Since when does a girlfirend need a reason to kiss her boyfriend?”

He smirked at her as she turned to leave the lab.

As soon as Jemma closed the lab door as was back in the blank room everything began to hit her at once. She felt like she might hyperventilate.

“Jem” Daisy’s voice came from above. “I get you may need a minute before coming out but can you just give us a sign you're okay? If not we will just pull you out from our end.”

Jemma held up a finger so Daisy and Coulson wouldn't worry before whispering the out phrase.

“There’s no place like home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated.


End file.
